i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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