just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize