Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
he's single and there are thong briefs.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
