You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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