How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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