FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
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