drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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