if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
