I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
