Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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