im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
