i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
