I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
