actually, I'm a sock model
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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