I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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