whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
