We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize