I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
