We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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