I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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