You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
