He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
