I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
