i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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