Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
4 words: hood of his car
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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