oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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