Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
