Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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