I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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