I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize