Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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