If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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