with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
