She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You took a bar mat shot.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
how do you play pong handcuffed?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
