Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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