guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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