$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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