thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
