I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
