ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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