I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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