At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Damn victory sex feels great
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
