FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
