if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
