I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
