By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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