the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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