FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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