it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize