My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
