she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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