Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
