doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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