you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
