I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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